10 Things That Will Make Your Waitress Want To Kill You

1.) Call her darling in a creepy voice and stare at her relentlessly.
2.) Constantly complain about the weather, the economy, the President……
3.) Order a huge amount of food, demand she pay attention to you and you alone, then only leave her a dollar as a tip.
4.)Scream at her from across the room while she’s busy taking care of someone else.
5.) Talk to her as though you’re better than she is
6.) Be sure to point out any and all flaws she may have in your loudest voice possible.
7.) Make snide references about her family members
8.) Eat all but 3 bites of your food then refuse to pay because it got cold.
9.) Leave more food on the floor than your 3 year old child.
10.) Pretend to untie her apron so as to cop a feel of her backside.

Charges Mounting Against Local Taxidermist

(The following is a work of fiction created from the headline at the top of the page.  This is a complete fabrication written by Christine Senter on January 8, 2004.  No part of this may be copied or reproduced in any other media outlet without the author’s expressed permission.  All rights reserved.)

Charges Mounting Against Local Taxidermist

Local taxidermist Bob Farley was in court again today on charges of mounting his customers trophies in strange positions. According to court records, Mr. Farley is said to have posed a beaver, shot by a Mr. David Anderson, in a ballet pirouette. Mr. Anderson claims that he took the beaver to Mr. Farley for mounting, expecting to have the animal set in a natural position. When he returned for his stuffed beaver, he found it wearing a pink Tu-Tu and toe shoes.

Judge Wilbur Davenport sentenced Mr. Farley to six months probation, two hundred hours of community service, and he must repay Mr. Anderson for damages. Mr. Farley will be in court again in six weeks on further charges of stuffed animal arrangement.

On a lighter note, all the animals posed by Mr. Farley have been purchased by the local museum for a display entitled “The local night life”.

For Lode-A-BS news, I’m Christine Senter

Spinach Strata

54 Ritz crackers
2 10-oz pkg frozen and chopped spinach, thawed and well-drained
10oz. Muenster cheese, grated
2-1/2C milk
5 eggs
2T Dijon mustard
1/2tsp liquid hot pepper seasoning
2 cloves of garlic, minced

In 2-qt shallow baking dish, arrange 18 Ritz crackers in 3 long rows. Combine spinach and 2C grated cheese; sprinkle half mixture over crackers; repeat layers. Top with remaining crackers; sprinkle with remaining cheese.

In medium bowl, beat together milk, eggs, mustard, liquid hot pepper seasoning and garlic. Pour evenly over mixture in baking dish. Refrigerate for 1 hour.

Bake at 350* for 1 hour or until puffed and golden. Cut into squares to serve.